Want to strangle somebody? Biting your tongue, but deep down inside you’re in an all-out battle with one of your co-workers? Well, stop and relax for a second.
Even if you never say a word, but inside your head you’re planning revenge, that may be the cause of your troubles.
Many people aren’t aware how powerful our thoughts are for everyday life. We all have this “voice” in our heads (some more than others, lol) but rarely do we make the connection that our thoughts are there for a reason. Yes, the inner argument you have with someone in your mind, actually can make it come true.
I used to do it myself. I’d be pissed at someone but didn’t bother to say anything out loud, but inside I was throwing down the gloves. I’d have comebacks ready for when so-and-so said something to me all planned out. Boy, was this a bad idea. Because the more I tried to plan a comeback or some type of revenge, the more I found I needed to have a comeback. It was like I couldn’t win no matter what.
Then I found out how our thoughts worked. You see, our minds are a goal- seeking machine. Think about something, and the mind acts like Google trying to bring you results. Have an argument in your head, and the mind is like….”I’m on it, looking for an argument”. We have this sense to “win” so we just do it in our heads. But unfortunately, the more we practice this habit of virtual revenge, the more it starts popping up in real life.
I’ll give you an example. One of you’re co-workers bugs the hell out of you, because everyday they point out something you’re doing wrong. Nit-picking I think is the technical term for it. Anyway, you’re a simple sort and keep your lips sealed, but in you’re head you give them a virtual tongue lashing and feel great about it. But the next day, it’s the same thing, and the next. It just keeps happening. After awhile, your losing the argument in your head! So you snap, and finally, really start arguing. What a mess!
So how do you fix this problem? You turn the tables and be the bigger person. I’m not saying you’re the better person, but you must be bigger than what ever is bothering you. It may not be easy first, but try it out and see how simple it becomes.
The technique I use works like this. When you think about this person in your head, see yourself laughing with them hysterically. Yes, you’re going to have to fake it, but do it anyway. Don’t wait for them to “nit-pick”, do it at the first sight of them in the morning. Just for a few seconds, imagine the two of you laughing your butts off. Laughing so hard, you have tears.
Then….See what happens. This may take a day, a week or maybe longer depending on the situation. But try it, and be amazed when you actually find yourself roaring with laughter with this person. There may be other people around, it may be because someone else told a great joke. It doesn’t matter why your laughing, the cool part is, it worked! You thought about it, it happened.
Give it a try with other situations too. The sky’s the limit. Just keep in mind (no pun intended) that what you virtually see yourself doing, will be a benefit to everyone involved. Thinking of ways to harm or take advantage of other people, brings it right back on you eventually.
