This may be a completely new concept, or perhaps a friendly reminder. Either way, it is the most important facet of your life.
So what is it? Your thoughts. You were hoping for something a little more revolutionary? Well, perhaps it doesn’t sound new or exciting, but by changing our thoughts we change our lives.
I’ve said this before but it is worth repeating, the mind is a goal-seeking machine. It responds by seeking your predominate conscious or unconscious thoughts. The trick that few people realize is, that words of negation are not processes. Let me explain this further. If someone says to you “Do Not Think of a Red Car”. Well, guess what we must think about first, before we could begin to follow these instructions. Yep, a red car. Then as we don’t think of the red car, we must first think about what were not to think about. Huh?
So where is all this going? Glad you asked.
Getting what you want. If you think about the things you don’t want, on a daily or hourly basis, the mind goes after more of this. It doesn’t have to be conscious either. Your beliefs could be running in the background of your mind, bringing you more of the stuff you hate or don’t want. Well the good news is, that this can all be turned around with one simple act.
Think, speak and move through your life with things that you do want. Take the checkout at the grocery store for example. When the cashier asks you “Paper or Plastic”? Do you say “I do not want paper” or simply say “Plastic”. I’m betting most just say what they want. But what about the rest of the day? Do you complain at the ole water cooler? If you do, you’re not speaking of what you do want. It may feel good at the time to have a whine-fest with yourself or others, but it is taking you away from what you want.
Once you practice a little, you will be amazed at how fantastic this works. Start by writing out a list of things you do not want in your life. Yes, go beyond just reading this post and shaking your head. Get a pen and paper out and write these down! It works, if you work. So where was I?…..Ah, Write out this list, and next to each thing of doom, write the opposite. Example: car sucks, hate my job and my wife is a nag. Next to these put: nice new car, fulfilling fun job and caring sweet wife.
This is a simple, yet powerful exercise to make us aware of the crap we dish ourselves. Yeah, I said it. We bring much of the crap-of-life, onto ourselves by constantly and persistently wishing for more. It may not happen overnight, but soon you’ll start to catch yourself and change the way you look at things.
These are the rules of life. Your only hope of getting what you desire, is to think of the things you do want.
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I intended on writing this article for some time now. But ironically, I kept putting it off.
Now tell me this sounds like you, or someone you know. What is the big secret to getting a task done? Most of the stuff we keep procrastinating on is easy anyway. Well, what I’ve come to know about the “P” word is that we avoid what we (A) have no clue where to begin (B) have no clue how to finish. Personally I’m a recovering perfectionist. When I look at a task that I want to be perfect and can’t seem to figure out how to do it, I don’t start!
Here is an example. I use to sell nursery stock including plants, trees, annuals etc… I loved it. People would come in to the store and ask me questions about landscape ideas and I would flood them with great themes based on their needs. Well, about 4 years ago I removed every overgrown shrub and tree from my own house, and it still remains empty. I finally figured out what was holding me back from just starting the project in the first place. Fear of not having it perfect. I didn’t have a clear picture of what I wanted it to look like, so I never started.
I’ve applied this new awareness to other areas of my life as well. When I notice a certain project not getting started or finished, I see now that I just need to identify where the resistance is coming from, and forge ahead. When I realize that I’m procrastinating, I jump in with both feet to do something. Anything! Awareness is an extremely powerful tool to signal action. Also along the road to achievement, I use visualization to help allow me see and feel the completion of my intention.
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Go ahead. Start!
We are who we say we are. I am such-and-such, and I do this for a living.
But what if we want to be something else completely different. What if we really, really want to be something much different than our present character. Not because we want to make money from it, or because someone (family) wants you to be successful. No, because when you were a kid you WANTED to be a firefighter, nurse, pilot, baseball player…etc. Maybe as you got older you’ve developed a dream of being a rock star, 5k runner or wedding planner. The point here is, get that idea or dream back into your head and start. You have official permission.
“Well, I’m too old, busy, poor or whatever to start over now”. Stop talking your
self out of your dreams! Start believing that you deserve your desires.
Why do you think dreams/ wants/ desires and goals make you feel happy or inspired? The reason is to allow humanity to evolve and progress. As you fulfill a dream, someone else in this world will benefit. Maybe you’re a car nut. Maybe you love cars so much, you want to be around them all day. Well, guess what? You can make a living at that! Test drivers, racers, custom fabricators, designers etc…
Go after that dream you knew (or are finding out) you were put on this earth to be. Even the smallest move towards that goal will bring you extreme joy and satisfaction because now you’re in sync with your spirit. You’re doing this for that feeling inside that says “this is where I belong” , “this is what I was born to do”.
So maybe at first you treat it like a hobby. Perhaps you just Google it, and find out more about it. Great, you’re moving forward! If it really resonates with who you are, it won’t belong before you’re living that dream and living your life!
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Are you happy with your life? If yes, your done.
Now that leaves the rest of us…
Change. Who wants to do that? “Not me, I’m fine the way I am.” you might say. Well, Change really isn’t a request. It’s life. You can stay the same and be perfectly happy, but just don’t go outside or watch TV. Everything always has, and always will keep evolving and moving forward. As long as you keep pace to some extent, then life will seem to stay the same for you.
But why just keep pace? I mean, as long as your moving forward why not leap ahead and find your stride? Really have the lifestyle you thought you’d have. Tell me if this sounds familiar. When you’re just starting out in the workforce, you’re filled with dreams. Money is coming in, but the dreams of the future has money gushing in. So you’re living the good life doing what we do with our dreams, put them in the future. They get created from a desire, and like a carrot on the end of a string, they keep moving forward as we do. After awhile, you wonder when the heck you’re ever going to start that business, or get your passport or learn to dance. Ah, it’s on the back burner because right now there are too many other things going on.
When does the cool stuff start? When do we put the wheels in motion and make it happen? How do we start? What if it goes horribly wrong?
It starts with The Decision. “I’ve decided, I’m going for it” From that point forward, the single best act you can do, is see yourself living that dream come to life in your mind.
If you have a dream inside you, let it out. The simple act of deciding to go for it, will change your life.
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Want to strangle somebody? Biting your tongue, but deep down inside you’re in an all-out battle with one of your co-workers? Well, stop and relax for a second.
Even if you never say a word, but inside your head you’re planning revenge, that may be the cause of your troubles.
Many people aren’t aware how powerful our thoughts are for everyday life. We all have this “voice” in our heads (some more than others, lol) but rarely do we make the connection that our thoughts are there for a reason. Yes, the inner argument you have with someone in your mind, actually can make it come true.
I used to do it myself. I’d be pissed at someone but didn’t bother to say anything out loud, but inside I was throwing down the gloves. I’d have comebacks ready for when so-and-so said something to me all planned out. Boy, was this a bad idea. Because the more I tried to plan a comeback or some type of revenge, the more I found I needed to have a comeback. It was like I couldn’t win no matter what.
Then I found out how our thoughts worked. You see, our minds are a goal- seeking machine. Think about something, and the mind acts like Google trying to bring you results. Have an argument in your head, and the mind is like….”I’m on it, looking for an argument”. We have this sense to “win” so we just do it in our heads. But unfortunately, the more we practice this habit of virtual revenge, the more it starts popping up in real life.
I’ll give you an example. One of you’re co-workers bugs the hell out of you, because everyday they point out something you’re doing wrong. Nit-picking I think is the technical term for it. Anyway, you’re a simple sort and keep your lips sealed, but in you’re head you give them a virtual tongue lashing and feel great about it. But the next day, it’s the same thing, and the next. It just keeps happening. After awhile, your losing the argument in your head! So you snap, and finally, really start arguing. What a mess!
So how do you fix this problem? You turn the tables and be the bigger person. I’m not saying you’re the better person, but you must be bigger than what ever is bothering you. It may not be easy first, but try it out and see how simple it becomes.
The technique I use works like this. When you think about this person in your head, see yourself laughing with them hysterically. Yes, you’re going to have to fake it, but do it anyway. Don’t wait for them to “nit-pick”, do it at the first sight of them in the morning. Just for a few seconds, imagine the two of you laughing your butts off. Laughing so hard, you have tears.
Then….See what happens. This may take a day, a week or maybe longer depending on the situation. But try it, and be amazed when you actually find yourself roaring with laughter with this person. There may be other people around, it may be because someone else told a great joke. It doesn’t matter why your laughing, the cool part is, it worked! You thought about it, it happened.
Give it a try with other situations too. The sky’s the limit. Just keep in mind (no pun intended) that what you virtually see yourself doing, will be a benefit to everyone involved. Thinking of ways to harm or take advantage of other people, brings it right back on you eventually.
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